gangsta_paradis

Kemarin hari sabtu, setelah dari percetakan ngecek prooft print gw sama cici (koordinator design) mutusin jalan-jalan "ngebut" ke PIM buat cari makan secara kita berdua blm makan dari pagi.
Setelah ampir bbrp menit nyari parkir di PIM, akhirnya sampailah kita di depan lift yang menuju ke atas. pas udah masuk di dalam lift yang penuh sesak dari ibu-ibu, bapak-bapak, anak kecil, anak abg sampe cowok sok gaya plus mas mas yg jagain lift (seth dah mas, bikin sempit aja deh wakakakak)...
tapi 1 menit kemudian....
semua serentak ngeluarin bebeb (nama panggilan baru gw buat BB) dari tas ama kantongnya...
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.....bahkan ibu-ibu yg lagi megangin bayinya jg ...

gw sama cici cuma diem, tapi ga lama gw tanya gini ama cici...
gw: "ci kluarin juga yuk..."
cici: "apaan"
gw: "kalkulator......."

oh blackberry blackberry.......

Wanna share somthing before im going to bed^^

These two songs is really stuck in my mind recently.
Both is from my favourite bands, Kat-tun and DBSK aka TVXQ aka Tohoshinki (I really hope Bigbang also made a song with this tittle .. XP)

Though these two songs have a different meaning but have a same feeling, about loving someone.
The one about hoping and the other one about falling in love.
Btw, there is a memorable moment when i first time heard the KT song, honestly I kind of crying. eventhough that time i'm not understand what the meaning but somehow the song feel so painful. I heard the acapella version first before the album version, and their voice is really great!
It's hard to describe the song since i don't really know what the feeling of falling in love itself. you must listen and feel it by yourself ^^
So, here it is:

KAT-TUN - CRAZY LOVE acapella ver.

i already made the post about lyrics and trans, read it here


DBSK - CRAZY LOVE

lyrics & trans here

Bego ni gw, udah td penutupan malah lanjut ngejurnal hakahakhakahk... ah bodolah...

Hari ini sebenarnya hectic banget di pojokan lt. 2 tapi tiba-tiba pas pulang dr nganterin kakak gw ke permata ijo, di kompi gw ada boncet dr HRD yg ngasi pengumuman ttg jenguk bos sama tante di rs.

Boncet ttg jenguk bos:
HRD: ..... siapa yang mau ikut jenguk bos?
Gw: tampaknya daku ta' bisa ikut banyak kerjaan...
HRD: ok
Gw: tp gw titip layoutan buat di acc bos di rs ya...
HRD: ............ *diem
*bukannya nggak mau jenguk sih tp kayaknya bos lbh senang klo kerjaan di kantor kelar daripada gw menjenguknya hihihi....

Lain bos lain cerita tante. sejujurnya gw pengen banget jenguk tante tp keknya gw lbh takut ama setan dedline dan kayaknya semua (all my editor) berpikiran sama. nah krn nggak ada satupun yg bisa beranjak pergi, akhirnya kita tentuin deh dengan cara musyawarah untuk mufakat ala dudul yaitu dengan saling tunjuk satu sama lain! *ini sih ga jelas juntrungannya!
Dan hasilnya gw lah yang terpilih. *hoho mayan kabor sesaat!
Tappppiiiiii sepanjang perjalanan hal yg kepikiran di otak gw bukannya ntar mo ngobrol apa ama tante tapi mikir, kenapa gw segitu begonya ninggalin jaket di kantor padahal udara diluar dinginnya udah kayak es!! kupret! belum lagi ditambah pengen beser mulu di jalan.

Ngomong2 ttg jenguk tante, pas pulang sempet ada 'aib' yg bikin niat membunuh salah satu promosi gw memuncak.
*di depan lift, mo turun
Kita ketawa-ketiwi ga jelas dan ga sadar klo itu di rs (maaf ya sus dah bikin ribut). tiba-tiba pintu lift kebuka.
bapak2 tua di dalem lift, ngeliat ke arah barisan depan yang berisi marketing, promosi dan salah satu reporter gw:
wah besar-besar banget!! *spontan
marketing, promosi dan salah satu reporter gw: .......................... *bengong dan kaget
pintu lift ketutup
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Tu bapak-bapak minta dibacok y??

Gw yakin pasti pas mudanya dulu doski ga populer ama cewe.....

Dorky CF from my fave artist^^

Bigbang Baskin Robbins CF


TVXQ/DBSK/Tohoshinki Noky Brothers ha ha ha CF



KAT-TUN Lotte plus X CF (fighting ver.)

(theres soo many KT CF that i really like but guess i dont want to cracked my flist so i just only put this one -___-;)

Akhirnya kemarin berhasil juga ngomongin rencana sekolah ke Jepang ama babe dalam keadaan yang bisa dibilang spontanitas dan sama sekali nggak 'khusyuk' soalnya ada bocah-bocah berisik alias ponakan gw lagi bikin perang dunia ke 3 di kamar.

Gini isi percakapanya:

Gw: ma gimana?...
Emak: apanya?
Gw: yang sekolah di jepang....
Emak: oh itu boleh aja, udah tanya papa?
Gw: belum...

Babe tiba-tiba datang...

Gw: *beraniin diri....pa boleh ga skolah di jepang?
Babe: boleh aja... kapan?
Gw: taon depan rencananya...
Babe: boleh....
Gw: BENERAN??!!! *seneng sekaligus aneh ...kok gampang banget ngasih ijinnya
Babe: asal duitnya ada aja...
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Gw: mingkem.................................................

Jadi intinya gimana be???





Emank klo ujungnya duit susyee yeeee...tapi jangan menyerahlah dirikuuu!!

The differences between old and new crew...

Old Crew
Crew 1: yence...
Crew 2: yenceeeeeeHH!!! (shouted)
Crew 3: yenceeeeee uhm uhmmm..~~ (over acting)
Crew 4: ce ceeeee....
Crew 5: nci nci... *gaplok!


New Crew
Almost all when they know im the MD:
MBAK!!
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Suddenly feeling old.... sigh~




Notes: 'Mbak' is a polite way to call somone (woman) older than you

Just comback for having lunch with my family and rush open up my compi... reading Jpopasia.com, my mail and jurnal.
Got 3 news that almost spill out all my drink... *shocked mode on

First news:
Dhyta said, KAT-TUN wins at channel V battle!!! yay... *throw confetti!!
hiks no its not....T_T
got corrected by dian.. huhuhuhu
DHYTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Second news:
Big Bang got in TIME for the promising band to cracked japan music industry. read the rest of the news here
hahaha finally the good news about them. is this their first time debuting in japan, yes?
agree wit the article, hope they can follow DBSK and Rain succesfull in japan^^

Third news:
DBSK unfair contract (income) revealed!! read here
meybi all of u that DBSK fans know about DBSK law suit about the unfair contract. finally they show the contract itself that has been modified for 5 times. yup, for almost this 6 years working for the agency....... THEY ONLY GOT THAT??? migod!!
its really unfair, as far as i know DBSK its the busiest group cause having sooooo much activity and photoshoot, even guinnes put their name for the list of the most photographed celebrity in the world and world largest official FC. how come they only got that small  amount from agency???? 0___________o;
at first i tot its so ridiculous for Hero, Micky and Xiah for sued the agency about the conctract, but reading this... i take my word, go go dont giv up!!! q('o')p
wonder wat happen wit u-know and max??

in one day i got the 3 news about my 3 favourite band! WAUWWW!



LUCKYYYYY


credit for the news: Jpopasia.com, Time.com

EDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: im wrong!!!! got corrected by dian... *goin to smacked dhyta for giving me wrong info X(

Since waiting for me its sooo boring (yup its tru), thats why i try to finding some quality time while waiting patiently for CTKT to be subbing. Which is searching about another band that can make me laugh (what purpose is that??!!!).
so trying to cut a long story here found 2  band that make me think and hope they can be one stage wit KAT-TUN. Ameen!!!

First, i found about BIG BANG, the hip hop & rnb band from korea. their music so energetic. it make you feel in the club, cause ur body cant stop to dance^^. all my favorite, but im listening to 'Top of the world' rite now, their second single japanese album after 'gara-gara go!'
luv the song after i watch this video. G-Dragon is coooollll!!! his dance sooo great!^^



Second, i try to listen DBSK/TVXQ/Tohoshinki. actually i ever heard about them some time ago when theyr promoted their single 'mirotic' but i only tot oh great but theyr not funny. but........... its totally wrong!!! its totally cracked my nerve!! XDD!!
try watching their banjun drama, NG and any other quiz or interview, its totally crazy!! ahahahaha XDD
here's the one that i found recently. theyr talking about other member habit.. embarrassing habit XDD



hihihi really look forward for these 2 band^^

now i hav 3 favorite band, guess no time boring again this time yaa haa^^!!

Kisah si dorce di kala deadline

Waktu itu gw dapet berita mengejutkan di pagi hari pas lagi ym-an nanyain kabar dincuy temen kosan dan ex-temen kerja (dipikir ngapain juga gw nanyain, orang paginya baru ketemu...)

Dincuy:  yenceeee...meggy z meninggaaalll
Gue:  ah yang bener lo!!!
           idola lo kan tuh..
Dincuy: iyahhh..beneran
Gue: lo dapet berita darimana??

Langsung lha gw sebarkan berita duka itu ke seluruh kantor....

Gue: eh meggy z meninggal!!
Tante & Rianti: AH YANG BENER?!!! astaga!!....
Suara di kejauhan: yang bener??!!!
                                   sumpah lo?? astaga!!!!!
                                   ya ampun.... minal aidin wal faidzin.....
terdiam sesaat...
.....
.....
.....
Gue: ngg??......
Tante: eh lha itu si dorce kok ngomong minal aidin?? emank lebaran??
Satu kantor lt.2: BUHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHHHKAHAKHAKHAKHAKHAKHAKHAKHAKHAKHAKHKAHKAHAKA!!!!!!!!!!!



Yaolo ce emank lo banyak salah ya ama meggy z??                                

Hohoho finally my mood as a hydeist back!

Aaa~ is really bring back memories, because this is the first video of Hyde that i saw when i got 'caught' in my job now...
Really funny video!
You can see the cheerfull hyde with ken and mathew, not the 'dark' hyde that we know. But even he's like that, he still the coolest man i'v ever seen^^

First hyde seems shy when mathew asked him to sing 'julia ni heartbreak' by the checkers, but when the mic in his hand.. he's suddenly "TURN ON"!! hahahhaha... *god what am i saying hahahahah LOLLLL



Ok lets sing!

Tagged by: di_diya


01. What is your favourite bandgroup?
KAT-TUN!

02. What would you do when you meet your fave celeb?
Ummm.... staring???

03. What is your recent add on collection?
Miiko vol.20...??
Actually i never collect anything special, i luv red/black/white so everytime i see somthing cute that
match my fave colour, im gonna buy it!

04. What's your occupation?
Worker in media industry (24 hour, 7 day a week huek!!)

05. What's really creepy?
When suddenly light off, i got stuck in bathroom then no one heard my scream and when i trapped in the elevator at 8floor...!!

06. What was your dream when you was a child?
Have my own book store and work at the backstage

07. What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
Meybi Kat-tun.... but not to much hoho.... stil so so

08. What are you listening to right now?
Ngg.... kat-tun and big bang (somhow i kinda like this group recently)

09. What is your weak point?
Lizard, dog, cold weather, parfume, new money and ticklish (especially my collarbone and hair, dont u ever ever touch it!!!)

10. What websites do you always visit when you go online?
LJ, yahoomail, designer web, google.com (for searching images), youtube

11. What was the last thing you bought?
Sendal jepit warna item (soalnya ilang mulu! padahal beli di pasar cm 5000an tp tetep aja selalu ilang! heran!) upss..
ummm cheapest black flip flops...hehe

12. What was the cutest thing you've seen today?
Baby smile!!! owh i luv kids!!!^^...

13. Does the weather affect your mood?
Nope,  when hot i got sleepy, when cold i got sleepy.. the point is i got sleepy wherever and whenever it is....
my mood changes if i see my desk and deadline list

14. What is your zodiac sign?
Cancerrrr...^^

15. Do you want to learn another language?
YUP! English, Japanesse, Korean, Italy....... oh and my mother language, Sundanesse (so everytime i accompany her to my granma house, i'll not feel lonely again cause i never understand what the heck r they talking about!!!!)

16. 5 things you can't live without?
Clean air, food, water, money, and my sunglasses... (heck my minus already 4!!)

17. Do you have any siblings?
Yup, big family!

18. What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?
....hey hey r u guys lovers or not?

19. What are your looking forward to?
My planning to study in japan (dad.. when i got ur permission??)

20. Are you a cat or dog person?
CAT! I hate dog! I scared!!


I tag </span>ohryouchipikame09dythaakiriko_jdarkokame aluakard
hav fun guys hoho!
</span>

Hahahahaha bulan ini bener-bener alhamdulillah banget!!
Gw dikasi berkah sama Allah setelah 3 tahun penantian yang sangat panjaaaaaaang dan laaaaaaama hahahha *lebay mode on!

Seperti yang udah pada tau, dulu pas tanggal 16 september 2006 (gila masih aja apal lho!), hp gw si N70 yg masih ciamik dan sedang lutchu-lutchunya karena baru berumur 6 bulang teng hasil jerih payah 4 taon nabung dan hp pertama yang sangat modern........ ILANG DIGONDOL MALING KAMPRET!!!!

Sumpah itu gw nangis sejadi-jadinya! emak gw ampe bingung gimana nenangin anaknya yg lagi super mewek, padahal besok mo ada pengajian di rumah. yah ga papalah mak, sekalian kita yasinan buat ngedoain 'anak' gw yg ilang.. huehueheuhuee..
Seremnya bokap marah-marah karena udah kedua kalinya gw keilangan hp dan itu semua karena KECURIAN! udah gitu ilangnya juga bikin hati ama otak nyesek. yah gimana ga nyesek karena waktu beli sama waktu keilangan cuma berjarak beberapa bulan bukan beberapa tahun...

Tapi emank dasar ya, keluarga itu emank tempat yang paling mengerti elo di saat lo lagi down.
Setelah gw pake lagi hp lama yg 2100 ntuh, gw dikasi pinjem hp-nya doski yg lebih canggih. nokia versi yg fashion ntuh (lupa gw serinya paan..) yg clampshell alias buka tutup...
tapi emank pada dasar gue anak kurang ajar. setelah lama keenakan gw pake itu hape, tutupnya yang semula gw buka extra hati-hati lama-lama gw bukanya cuma pake jempol sampe tutupnya DOYONG dan bisa di oglek-oglek saking serampangannya gw buka tu hape.

Dan once again, bokap gw menyuruh gw mengganti hpnya dengan hp yang dia pake, which is nokia 6500. beuhhh makin canggih niyh si babe!! sukanya lagi gw ama ni hp adalah dia bisa ngambil foto candid soalnya loadingnya cepet, udah gitu fotonya mayan terang. jadilah selama gw make ni hp, temen-temen kantor gw menderita karena banyak foto aib mereka bertebaran di facebook (dan sebagian masuk majalah buat artikel khusus "crew behind the scenes") hakakhakhakhka!!

Tapi mikir makin mikir, selama ini biar gw dikasi pinjeman hp tetep aja namanya juga minjem alias bukan punya sendiri jadi bikin hati rada-rada "rendah diri" dan gundah gulana gulali (padahal nggak juga sik!). jadilah gw ngmong ke babeh dan nyak tercinta, mengutarakan maksud hati pengen beli hp klo dapet THR kantor. tapi babeh dan nyak langsung berkata..... JANGAN!!  *yang langsung bikin gw mewek semaleman....

Tapi ternyta gw baru tau alasan bokap ngelarang setelah beberp hari kemudian dia ngasitau gw mo dikasi hp (AHAYYYYYYY!), jdnya gw ga usah beli lagi dan duitnya mending buat yg lain. duh babeh nyak ai lup you full dah!!!

So finally, i got my dream hp N79 white version...yay!!! i really LUV it alot and hope this is my "first" and last hp^^
btw my twin got one too, but he got the black version...

 

*Satu kata yang sulit terucap
Hingga batinku tersiksa
Tuhan tolong aku jelaskanlah
Perasaanku berubah jadi cinta

 

Reff :
Tak bisa hatiku merafikan cinta
Karena cinta tersirat bukan tersurat
Meski bibirku terus berkata tidak
Mataku terus pancarkan sinarnya

 

Kudapati diri makin tersesat
Saat kita bersama
Desah nafas yang tak bisa truskan
persahabatan jadi cinta

Back To *
Back to Reff

**Apa yang kita kini tengah rasakan
Mengapakah kita coba persatukan
Mungkin cobaan untuk persahabatan
Atau mungkin sebuah takdir Tuhan

Back to Reff, ** 2X

*Lagu ini terus menerus gw puter dari kemarin sampai-sampai lirik lagunya kurang lebih jadi hapal hahaha... soalnya selain diputer di itunes kantor, gw pasang juga di kosan sembari nunggu waktu tidur.
lagunya ear catchy banget, ga menye-menye, bener-bener jujur ngungkapin perasaan yang nggak bisa ditahan (halah bahasa gue!)

Btw kata temen gw lagu ini jadi kayak semacam sign buat gw. sign tentang perasaan gw sebenarnya sama sahabat cowo gw si G (sorry cant write his name). gw cuma bengong doank dengernya.. tampak sekali kalau teman-teman ku yang lucu-lucu dan ngegemesin ini masih belum bisa terima tentang hubungan persahabatan gw sama G. karena ceunah kata mereka to weird to be true.. sikap kita berdua udah kayak orang pacaran, masa sih? perasaan wajar aja dah....

Buat gw yang sama sekali belum pernah pacaran ini jadi bingung. sebenarnya sikap orang pacaran itu kek gimana?
gw sama G walo hubungan persabatan kita udah lebih dari 10 tahun tapi nggak pernah tuh yang namanya jalan berdua semasa sma dulu. sekalinya kita berkesempatan jalan bareng itupun awal taon kemaren. itupun karena dia mo curhat dan gw minta bayaran curhat traktir MCD plus antar jemput hahahah..alhasil gw dikekep sama dia di MCD pondok indah ampe jam 4 pagi!! siaul lo a!

Tentang panggilan kami yang 'kakak' dan 'adik' itupun juga karena nggak sengaja. ceritanya dulu pas gw main ke kelasnya, ada temen yang ngmong "eh muka kalian berdua klo diperhatiin mirip deh...". yang langsung di anggukin G "iya dong kan kita kakak beradik... iya kan de?" dan gw timpalin "iya makanya wajar mirip... iya kan kak ^^ ?".
haha makanya panggilan ini murni spontanitas doank, bkn karena kita berdua yang pengen. dari situ panggilannya terus berlanjut dan karena udah nyaman sama keberadaan masing2 pihak kadang gw bocor aja kalau sama dia gitu juga sebaliknya.

Tapi walau udah dijelasin berkali-kali, masih ada aja pertanyaan
"lo sama G pacaran ya?",
"lo kenapa sih nggak pacaran aja sama G pdhl udah cocok juga.."
"lo sama G bla bla bla..."
dan yang paling sebel klo udah di jelasin tapi masih ga percaya jg...
"lo sebenrya suka kan! pasti deh suka biar sedikit tp pernah ada perasaan itukan!!"

Guys really, gw sama G bener-bener pure sahabatan. emank sih gw dulu ga percaya sama persahabatan cewe-cowo tapi setelah ngalamin sendiri gw baru percaya. dan lagi gw sama dia udah pernah ngebahas dan mikir jangan sampe kita jadian soalnya takut saling keilangan. jujur aja gw ga mo keilangan sahabat yang sangat dan paling berarti plus berharga bagi gw cuma gara-gara kita jadian... gw takut itu bakal jadi bikin jarak gw sama dia... sumpah gw ga bisa ngebayangin itu...

Masalah gw suka ato nggak, tentu aja gw suka klo nggak ga mungkin gw mau sahabatan ama dia lebih dari 10 taon hihihihi ^^
gw ama G udah nyaman dan suka ama status kita sekarang....^^

Until now, i stil hope that our friendship remain last forever... yay!

SERIOUSLY, now im really mad...!!

I mean why everyone always fussing someone ass when they have different point of view about something (in my case, social network!)?? I already told them that im not into social network like FB, FS and now Twitter! since im halfhearted to do it, i never updating or see it or even open it!! Except, if theres something interesting, something IMPORTANT or my close fren commented about KT (hi dy..yes ur my bestfren thats why for u, i againts my own rule...=) )
I know that social network is really important for world wide, getting connected with people around the world but since all the fussy one using it for 'other activity' like updating private status (always! even chat about private thing! get life people its called private if u talked it in ur own room and theres no one can heard or READ it! but u write it in SOCIAL NETWORK where people can read it, what its called then???), not so important chat about themself, popularity contest etc etc... guys... i never against wat u wanna do about ur own social network , really! Its up to you...!

BUT

 

 

NEVER TOLD ME TO DO IT LIKE U PEOPLE DO!!!

Im an easy going and free person, i do what i like and i talk what i like but still i respect what ur guys thought. I always and never against anything what u guys do and thinking, even sometimes its really absolutely different with my own belief. but STILL I RESPECT U with all my heart!

Thats why i never understand why u guys forcing me to do the thing that i already said im not like it??
Its not only once u do this to me guys... i already at my limit....
And the most hurt my feeling is, everytime i said "i like this or i like that or im into it rite now...or sorry i think...", u guys see me like im from "another world", despise me with ur look. Liking something different it doesnt mean u can see me low like that! Its really reallllllly hurt my feeling!! I see u as my precious friends but u never want to understand what ur friend do or like... is it called a friend??

And one more thing...

Yes, im naive!!
I grown up in moslem family, thats why i really into my religion alot (but it not make me fanatic or despise other religion. in fact, i respect and never judge religion or where they come from to make a friend), and meybi because of that they never talked about anything related to 'that' thing (yea yea called them 'old fashioned' but im glad to hav them as my parents and i proud about it)
Thats why, i never understand u guys 'dirty' jokes. SORRY if my brain take more alot of effort to understand what its mean. called me childish or whatever for never understand porn or something related to that. beside, everytime that 'jokes' come out thers no one kindly explained to me what its all about. I know you guys probably embarrassed but who's more embarrassed? me, the one that do not know anything or you the one that laughing?
and ones more, since im never dating bfore, its hard for me to understand man-woman relationship but i wonder...who the one that always come for my advice if  there is something happen with their boy/girlfriend???
guess it yourself!

Seriously guys...
I really comfy with the way i am. i want and still wanted to be the way i am rite now. i dont want to change myself only to pleased u. i'll change IF i think that thing is WORTH IT to change... and its for my own good.
I'll never change myself because someone told me to or because STUPID REASON  (everybody do it then i'v to do it too... jeez who are u anyway?? God??)
i dont wan to be somone else, I WANT TO BE ME! ME! ONLY ME!!
IS IT SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT??!!

Sorry if this hurt ur feeling guys (especially u guys out there that know me... )
But i really reallllly never mean that,
I'v my own limit...
but still i never want to confront u directly, 'cause as u people know (especially who know me alot) i cant angry with people,
definitely CANT!
Im afraid im gonna make u even more hurt when i angry, i dont want that 'painful word' coming out from my mouth...
So plz forgive me,

I take my own risk to write this (and in my FB status) bcause i'v had enough, now its up to you to understand it or not but i guess u cant expect from one side only....its not friendship....

sorry...

Kinda shocked wen i heard about the news cause Shinchan is one of my fave anime since the first i saw it. Meybi all of you already knew, especially the one who is living in japan. Heres some the news:


The creator of Crayon Shinchan, Yoshito Usui has been missing since 11 Sept 09. According to the news, his family cant contacted him and decided to report his missing to local police. Usui had left the house in the morning for mountain climbing then after tat until aftenoon, theres no news about him.
Finally, on Sept 19, a fellow hiker found a body in Arafune Mountain. +100 m below a clift. The body was covered with bruise and badly damaged. Near body, police also found a broken digital camera, a backpack containing a mobile phone and a wallet, and shoes.
On Sept 20, its finally confirmed that Yoshito Usui passed away.
the news

Condolence for the family, its really sad. With this, Crayon Shinchan would never have finish the story (same with Doraemon) because the author died.  And the thing tat make me feel more sad is the TV station tat showing Crayon Shinchan never said anything about this. Not even showing the tribute or news. Crayon Shinchan is really a big hit here, even one of the artis using his voice as a ringtone! So plz, can u show more appreciate about this....


Wonder who'll continue the story anyway, i heard doraemon is continued by Fujiko assistant. Is it Shincan too? Continued by Usui assistant, but it will really different...

Goodbye Shinchan father, rest in peace.....T_T